


An End

by Dirty_Corza



Series: Mayra Hawke [5]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 23:29:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6631480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Corza/pseuds/Dirty_Corza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes a month on the run for Mayra Hawke's grief to catch up with her.</p><p>Thankfully, Anders understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An End

Mayra Hawke spent the first month of her chosen exile on the run. Running was easy, especially interspersed with fighting, with hiding, with friends that were more family than anything less. A month where she lived blissfully in the moment, putting aside the things that had led to this. Putting aside the painful memories of that final month in Kirkwall.

That month had been spent on a pirate ship, making plans for her friends, putting aside thoughts of what would come next for her. Thinking about what came next meant Mayra would have to think about what she’d done.

Seven years ago, she hadn’t been willing to make a stand. Six years ago she had been coming to terms with the idea that she couldn’t sit idly by. Three years ago had found her flirting with justice and vengeance, and finding she didn’t much care what was Just, so long as those she loved were taken care of. And a month ago, a month ago she had decided the life of her lover was worth more to her than anything else.

That was the hardest part to come to terms with. Not the fact that she had kept Anders alive, no, Mayra knew she couldn’t have lived with herself if she had let him die. The hardest part was remembering the blood she spilled that she hadn’t meant to. The blood she saw painting her hands in thin red lines, familiar patterns in an unfamiliar color. 

It took a month for her life to quiet enough for the nightmares to come. A month for her dreams to fill with that familiar face, filled with accusation. Green eyes that met her vulnerable stare with open hate. She knew the name she woke screaming wasn’t her lovers, but he didn’t mention it, didn’t pry as to why she woke with another man’s name on her lips and tears in her eyes.

Mayra hadn’t suspected how much Anders understood of those nightmares until she asked him, softly, if they could go to Tevinter together. He had given a sad smile as he nodded, pressing soft lips against her forehead. “There is injustice there, isn’t there?”

She had laughed at that, softly, bitterly, “There’s vengeance to be had. Against a system just as broken as the circle was here.”

Anders had nodded, leaning in to give her lips a soft kiss. He hadn’t questioned who she would be avenging, and for that she was grateful. Telling the others that a month was all they would have with her would be hard enough. She wasn’t sure she could do it if she had to bare her heart further, if she had to speak the name of a ghost she wasn’t sure she’d ever forget.

And when she talked one of the pirates into giving her thin red tattoos on the back of her hands, Anders didn’t speak a word until they were done, until he could bring her hands to his lips, using only the slightest touch of healing magic to numb the pain. “We will take vengeance on that broken system,” he promised her then.

“I know,” she whispered her reply, the heavy weight in her chest lifting, just the smallest bit, knowing it was true.

**Author's Note:**

> My Hawke couldn't convince Fenris to stay, and I was a bit heartbroken, so I wrote this to make it up to him in what little way I could.


End file.
